Hitting the Books....Again!

It's official. This is where my face is going to be, starting August 24th. Yesterday, I signed up for my first two classes of graduate school. Honestly,  I'm a little freaked out and excited at the same time. 

For years I dreamed of finishing my degree. I actually never thought it would happen. In May, my dream came true. Now, I'm moving on to another degree which just seems surreal. 

I went back and forth between which degree to seek, masters in social work or masters in mental health counseling. When I started asking around it seemed everyone said I should go for social work. I continued to go back and forth but never really felt like that was the degree for me. Finally, I stopped listening and started praying. 

God brought me back to a time when I dreamed about becoming a psychiatrist. In high school, I was a peer counselor and LOVED it. I worked with elementary school children and really enjoyed helping others. 

So, yesterday I moved forward and signed up for my first two classes to become a licensed mental health counselor. 

 

For two years my life will be lived between the pages of many books. 

 I know it will be worth it. 

4th of July Fun

We went up to Mt. Dora for the 4th of July. This is the second year we have done this. It's such a blast. It's a very small town in the middle of Florida and it's just precious. If I could pick up my life and move there I would in a heartbeat. Will's aunt has a house there and we get the pleasure of using it 6 months out of the year while they are in Massachusetts. Mt. Dora puts on an old town 4th of July celebration! It's simply wonderful. In the morning there is a parade and the entire town comes out for this. Then around 3 o'clock the rest of the festivities begin; live music, face painting, war reenactments, and fireworks over the lake.... 

Here are some pictures from our trip.

Michelle and Dom

Me and Hubbs

The boys and their face painting. 

I love this pic. It was people who influenced the world and on it was Jesus with his cross!! AMEN!

The kids waiting for candy to be thrown. 

In The Pit!

Lately, I have been at the bottom of a pretty ugly pit. One of self-loathing, fear, anxiety.... you name it, I have felt it. This morning I woke up, on the verge of tears and wondering how in the world I got here. I realized that I have not had my daily quiet time with God in quiet some time and ever so slowly the lies of the enemy have crept in. He is a sly one. His subtle whispers have brought me to a place where I haven't been for a very long time. It's a dark, ugly place. A place with no light, no hope, no joy. After a morning of running errands I FINALLY sat down for some time with God. I poured out my heart to the one who is always there. I laughed, I cried, and  I had my hope restored. 

I am participating in Jennifer Rothchild's Bible Study "Me, Myself, & Lies" (so appropriate) and found myself being restored as I read God's truths. 

Here is what I was reminded of:

I am a new creation (2 Cor 5:17)

I am forgiven (Eph 1:7-8)

I am gifted with power, love and a sound mind (2 Tim 1:7)

I am chosen to be fruitful (John 15:16)

I am complete (Col 2:9-10)

I am secure (Rom 8:31-39)

I am confident (Phil 1:6)

I am FREE (Rom 6:18, 8:1)

I am capable (Phil 4:13)

I am spiritually alive (Eph 2:5)

I am God's workmanship (Eph 2:10)

I am welcome in God's presence (Eph 2:18, Heb 4:14-16)

I am sheltered & protected in God (Col 3:3)

I am valuable to God (1 Cor 6:20)

I am a member of God's family (1 John 3:1-2, Eph 2:19)

I am God's treasure (1 Peter 2:9-10)

I am dearly loved (Col 3:12)

I am being transformed (2 Cor 3:18)

I am an heir of God (Rom 8:17)

I am a friend of God (John 15:15)

I am God's delight (Zeph 3:17)

I am welcome to draw near to God (Eph 3:12)

Remember who you are in Christ! Don't let the enemy feed you lies. Rely on the truths of our Almighty God, he will never let you go. 

"Do not let the kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart" (Prov 3:3)

"A truthful witness gives honest testimony, but a false witness tells lies" (Prov 12:17)

*Rothschild, J. (2008) Me, Myself, & Lies. Nashville, TN: LifeWay Press.

Travel

There is a lot going on in our family right now. I thought summer was suppose to be relaxing? Actually, it is relaxing we are just traveling quite a bit! I love to travel. I love packing and the anticipation of going somewhere new. We leave Thursday for Mount Dora for the 4th of July weekend. If you have never been to Mount Dora it is a must see. It is a quaint little town in the middle of Florida. For the 4th they have a town party with all the trimmings,  parade, live bands, face painting and of course fireworks over the lake. We did it last year and the kids are so excited to go again. 

On the 18th of July we head to Kentucky for some jeeping. Yes, really. Hubby loves to rock climb in his jeep so off we go with our best friends and their jeep. The four boys go jeeping with their dads while Michelle and I take Emma somewhere during the day. At night we grill out, roast marshmallows and just have some good family time. 

Then, we are off to Maine. 

We head to Maine every year at the end of July. Will's aunts cousin owns a home in Biddeford Pool right on the water and we have the pleasure of using it for a week during the summer. Margot starting doing this for us 9 years ago and it has become an amazing family tradition that we just love. 

So off we go....... Until next time.

Sunset in our backyard in Maine

Trading Ashes for Beauty

I first heard this song while I was co-leading a small group for abortion healing. I had the honor of watching 5 ladies lay down their burden of abortion at the foot of the cross. 5 women who have suffered for YEARS due to an abortion(s) they have had in their past. Many women believe that abortion is the one thing that God won't forgive. That is a lie. The enemy wants to keep these women in bondage and does not want to see them set free. He wants them to suffer in their silence. He wants them to believe that this is way to big for God. How do I know? I am one of those women. I suffered for 18 years silently. Broken, ashamed, and alone in my pain. It is not a pretty place to be. In fact, it has affected all areas of my life.

 Last year, God decided that it was time I dealt with my past. Oh, how I fought Him. I did not want to go back there. I did not want to dig up the pain that I had packed down so deeply inside. My beautiful friend Melinda was the first person that I had opened up to regarding my past. Do you know what I received? Love, nothing but love (and lots of prayers)! She walked with me through my healing journey and I am forever grateful.

So let's talk about healing.....

I emailed Pat Layton who started a crisis pregnancy center in Tampa 24 years ago. Pat has also written a Bible Study called "Surrendering the Secret" for abortion healing. She was quick to tell me to RUN to A Women's Place and get started. I thought I was going in to volunteer. Little did I know to be a volunteer I had to go through Surrendering the Secret because I have an abortion in my past. Really? Yes, really. I was TERRIFIED!!!!

The first night of our group I was a complete mess. I did NOT want to show up. I did not want others to know about what I did. I had to walk through the crisis pregnancy center to the back room and in my mind it was the walk of shame (in reality, it wasn't but that's how the enemy lies to you). When I walked in the room do you know what I received? Yep, Love again. My wonderful leaders just hugged me, welcomed me, and simply loved on me. Me and 4 other women. 5 of us, all with one thing in common-abortion. It was not an easy journey. In fact, it was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. I had to deal with many emotions and I had to deal with MYSELF!! UGH. 

Needless to say, I wouldn't change a thing. The healing that has come through God and this study is nothing short of a miracle! NOTHING is to big for GOD. NOTHING. 

Since my own personal journey with healing I have co-led a group and will start my own group in August at Church. I am on a mission to help women through the healing of a past abortion and also help young women not find themselves in the place I once was. 

So what's the point of all of this... if you are a post-abortive woman or know one, please look into Pat's study "Surrendering the Secret" or feel free to contact me at my link above.  

God wants to set women free....I cannot be silent anymore. 

"For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him... But whoever lives by the truth comes into light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God" John 3:17,21 NIV

Friends

I've had friends on my brain for the last couple of days. Not quite sure why but none the less, it is there. I have been wondering why some friends last a lifetime and others are only with you for a certain amount of time. I've had one friend since I moved to Sarasota in the 4th grade. I just became the godmother of his little girl, Adrianna. It was such a blessing. Another friend, my biz, has been around since high school, even though we have had our falling outs, we always come back around to one another as if no time has past. There is a feeling of home when we are together. Then there are other friends who I bartended with in Ybor back in my crazy days. Although we don't see one another very often when we do get together it's very special. There are other friends with whom I have an unshakeable bond. Those in which I can bare my soul too and know that I am safe. There are many friends who have come and gone, some pleasantly and some not so pleasantly. I often wonder, when does a friend stop being a friend? Or when did I stop being a friend? When does the fracture happen and why are some fractures unable to be repaired? 

Honestly, I don't have any of these answers. I wish I did. 

I do know that I treasure all of the friends that I have and have had. Looking back, I can see that each one has deposited something into my life, lessons have been learned.  They have each made me grow as a person. 

I am grateful for the new friendships that God has brought to my life. Friends near and far. 

Some of them will be forever friends and some only with me for a season. 

Whatever they turn out to be I will treasure the time that I have with them.  

"...but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" Provers 18:24

California

 Here are some pictures of our trip to California. I kept thinking "why do I live in Florida" and my friend Judy was quick to point out that "you live in Florida because California is going to fall into the ocean someday, the state is broke, and a 1000sf house starts at $800K" I had a good laugh at how right she is!! It brought me right back down to earth. But I must say the state is gorgeous. From the ocean to the mountains to wine country, it is utterly breathtaking.  

Sea Lions

Here we are at Alcatraz

Jellyfish at the Monterey Aquarium

Kayaking in Monterey Bay

One stop along the Pacific Coast Highway

We really had an amazing time. My friend Melinda commented that it is "balm for the soul and the marriage", she is so right. There is nothing like reconnecting.